I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
