The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
