Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
don't judge my taste in strippers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
