I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
