I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Be still, my beating vagina.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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