I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
