oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
