...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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