She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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