I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize