Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize