thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
