I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
