you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
