yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
