Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
