Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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