I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
