A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
