I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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