How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
