Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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