I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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