i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
that's an acceptable place to lick
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize