so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have surprise drugs for everyone
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
