it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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