You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
