Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As shirtless as possible
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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