I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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