i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
