I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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