These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
