So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
