I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
