I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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