If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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