I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
