i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
