My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
