I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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