we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
