Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
