Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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