I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
