Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
