I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I need water and some morals
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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