just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize