It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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