I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
