Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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