I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
