? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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