i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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