I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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