Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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