Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
