i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
