i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
