His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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