Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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